How not to sell a car

I have been thinking about replacing my 2003 Honda Accord which has 118,000 miles on it.  Parts are starting to die, and these are expensive parts.  So I have been casually searching for cars just in case I run across the perfect one (which is a barely used spectacular car for super cheap). 

The other day I received a flyer in the mail from my local Honda dealership that had a scratch off thing on the back.  I scratched it off and it said I was a winner!!!  The prizes were a new car, a new tv, or an umbrella.  I figured I had one the umbrella but I had to go see for sure...

Six million other people received the same flyer and they were also "winners" because everyone was carrying around umbrellas.  I was ok with a new umbrella so I waited for someone to come take my winning card.  A salesman (who was tall and lanky with eyes that faced in opposite directions...I couldn't tell what he was looking at half the time) came over and just started talking to me and before I knew it I was zooming around town in a new Honda Accord for a test drive.  I knew I was wasting the poor guy's time and I had no intentions of buying the car, but he offered to let me drive it....so I said yes!  This is where things got a little weird....

Mr. Salesman was just making small talk and I was trying to be polite.  He said he was from Charlotte and was just here for the big sale.  Then he started asking me if I was single, if I had kids, if I wanted kids, what places I would recommend for dinner, what I liked to eat for dinner, how close I lived to the dealership and how often I visited Charlotte (I answered never.  And I also told him I didn't eat food).  Then he touched my shoulder and said that he really liked my blouse.  Um, thanks Mr. Creepy.  I floored it back to the dealership. 

Once I was safely back among other people in a public place, he decided to pull out all his moves to sell me that car.  When he touched my knee and asked me what he had to do to get me in that car I was done.  I told him I just wanted my umbrella so I could go.  Although I was ready to dash out of there without the cheap umbrella just to get Mr. Creepy to leave me alone!

I'm waiting for him to call....he has my phone number.  He also has my address....I am making sure Bailey is on guard duty tonight....

Also?  I knew more about cars than he did....idiot.