Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Pinterest Dreams

I, like almost every other adult woman in the universe, am addicted to Pinterest.  I scroll through multiple times a day.  I pin and pin and pin the day away.  I have even won money with some contests using Pinterest.  I love it and the inspiration I get from it.

But then there is a side of idiocy on Pinterest.  I am amazed by the number of people armed with a glue gun who think their work should be in the Louvre.  And then there are the masses that comment and repin their crap (oops, I mean "crafts").  One of my favorites continues to be buttons hot glued to anything.  Picture frames, mirrors, lampshades, candle sticks, hair pins....and the list goes on.  "Oooooo!  I wish I had thought of this!  It looks just like sea shells!"  No it doesn't.  It looks like buttons glued to a frame.  And most any person can glue stuff to stuff to make more stuff.  If this is beyond your abilities, please do us all a favor and put the glue gun down.  Now back away slowly....

Some other ideas that have left me shaking my head are homemade band-aids (these were really just fabric glued to regular band-aids...why???).  Anything baked with a Reese Cup in the middle is another popular choice.  Can we say diabetic coma? Last night I went to bed after spending (or wasting) some time on Pinterest and instead of being excited to try new projects, I was saddened by the amount of hot glue, glitter, and buttons.  It was with these unsettling thoughts that I drifted off to sleep.  And proceeded to dream vivid dreams about Pinterest.

In my dreams, I read a fellow pinners idea to add fish (yes, real fish) to your washing machine.  The purpose was not a creative aquarium.  Instead the fish would eat the dirt from sheets.  But just sheets.  Why this was a better idea than using hot water and detergent wasn't clear.  This was a dream after all.  Instead of being appalled at the idea of adding live fish to my spin cycle, I was all about it.  I went out and bought a bunch of ugly fish to add to my washing machine.  These weren't pretty fish like my very own Splash Gordon, these were long and skinny silvery fish.  I started to add them to the machine but they kept flopping out because I forgot to add water.  As they were flopping in the kitchen floor, Phoebe the cat was in kitty heaven.  I scooped them all up and filled the tub with water.  I then added a set of sheets and started the machine.

Can you guess what happened?  The gyration of the machine chopped the little fishies into bits, similar to anchovies in a blender.  I was left with fish heads on my sheets.  Pinterest had turned me into a fish serial killer!!!

And this is why you should pin responsibly.  Although I'm sure that if I pinned this as a real story (like the carp who ate dead skin off your toes as part of a pedicure), some fool out there would stop gluing buttons in order to add fish to their laundry (yes, that is the faith I have in humanity....).


  1. I do wonder about the Make Your Own /insert already cheap and convenient object here/ pins. Soap and detergent are arguable but I haven't found myself eating a pie wishing I had made my own vanilla extract.

    Have you seen the Pintester blog yet? She's pretty funny.

  2. you, like me, will enjoy the number of pinterest fail blogs out there. just google around & enjoy a few moments.

  3. Pintester is quite funny...and I love the way commenters tell her she is doing it wrong. I bet they are the "button gluers"....