I, like almost every other adult woman in the universe, am addicted to Pinterest. I scroll through multiple times a day. I pin and pin and pin the day away. I have even won money with some contests using Pinterest. I love it and the inspiration I get from it.
But then there is a side of idiocy on Pinterest. I am amazed by the number of people armed with a glue gun who think their work should be in the Louvre. And then there are the masses that comment and repin their crap (oops, I mean "crafts"). One of my favorites continues to be buttons hot glued to anything. Picture frames, mirrors, lampshades, candle sticks, hair pins....and the list goes on. "Oooooo! I wish I had thought of this! It looks just like sea shells!" No it doesn't. It looks like buttons glued to a frame. And most any person can glue stuff to stuff to make more stuff. If this is beyond your abilities, please do us all a favor and put the glue gun down. Now back away slowly....
Some other ideas that have left me shaking my head are homemade band-aids (these were really just fabric glued to regular band-aids...why???). Anything baked with a Reese Cup in the middle is another popular choice. Can we say diabetic coma? Last night I went to bed after spending (or wasting) some time on Pinterest and instead of being excited to try new projects, I was saddened by the amount of hot glue, glitter, and buttons. It was with these unsettling thoughts that I drifted off to sleep. And proceeded to dream vivid dreams about Pinterest.
In my dreams, I read a fellow pinners idea to add fish (yes, real fish) to your washing machine. The purpose was not a creative aquarium. Instead the fish would eat the dirt from sheets. But just sheets. Why this was a better idea than using hot water and detergent wasn't clear. This was a dream after all. Instead of being appalled at the idea of adding live fish to my spin cycle, I was all about it. I went out and bought a bunch of ugly fish to add to my washing machine. These weren't pretty fish like my very own Splash Gordon, these were long and skinny silvery fish. I started to add them to the machine but they kept flopping out because I forgot to add water. As they were flopping in the kitchen floor, Phoebe the cat was in kitty heaven. I scooped them all up and filled the tub with water. I then added a set of sheets and started the machine.
Can you guess what happened? The gyration of the machine chopped the little fishies into bits, similar to anchovies in a blender. I was left with fish heads on my sheets. Pinterest had turned me into a fish serial killer!!!
And this is why you should pin responsibly. Although I'm sure that if I pinned this as a real story (like the carp who ate dead skin off your toes as part of a pedicure), some fool out there would stop gluing buttons in order to add fish to their laundry (yes, that is the faith I have in humanity....).
Grilled Cheese Manifesto
1 day ago