Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Hypochondria for dogs

Bailey's breath has been horrible lately.  I tried to tell her, but she didn't quite get the hint.  I gave her Greenies (doggie bone breath mints) but they didn't work.  She still reeked of dead tuna.  I was embarrased for her; not even the cat wanted to be around her.  I am sure this has hurt her playtime opportunities at doggie daycare.

Tonight I noticed a lump on her gums above one of her teeth.  Before I looked up the number to the vet (since I can't call Dr. Joe anymore...not that he knew anything...), I did what any responsible parent would do, I looked it up on google.  According to my uber-scientific research, Bailey has an "epulis".  I'm not really sure what that is, but a ferret somewhere had one that looks just like hers (google images search).  Based on my in-depth veterinary training provided by petmd.com (which is probably the equivalent of Dr. Joe's DVM degree from the Caribbean - you know the schools you go to when you can't get into a real school), after diagnosing Bailey I determined the best course of treatment would be surgery. 

Before you come running to stop me, no I am not going to perform the surgery myself by watching it on youtube.  Plus it's pretty gross (not that I've checked or anything) and I can't handle gross.  I figured I better leave this one to the people that have real degrees from vet schools in the good ol' US of A.  I went to call the vet......and they had just closed five minutes ago.  All of that time doing my self diagnosis routine and I missed the vet.  So I'll call tomorrow; hopefully I can get her in this week. 

So although I don't necessarily condone praying for pink eye (read my previous post on the perils of pink eye), I will pray that my little Bails is ok. 


  1. OMG our dog used to eat out of the litter box, then when we sequestered it I thought I caught him getting too friendly with the cat's butt. After we stopped that his breath still smelled of rotten tuna; turns out he just had gingivitis.

    Our vet went to America school so I think he's on the up and up.

  2. Follow up on the Bailey-dog...

    Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning. Luckily it will only be a light sedation and the lump in her mouth will be biopsied. The vet will also remove a lump on her belly just because it makes me nervous. As a result, she can't eat anything after 9:30 tonight. Needless to say, she has eaten like a queen this evening!

  3. I literally scrapped a layer of gross doggy plaque off Penny's teeth yesterday.....with my fingernail. Please tell no one I did this. It was like cement. And smelled like a rotting corpse...... those doggie toothbrushes they sell at petsmart are apparently NOT a joke.

    PS. I hope that Bailey's surgery went well and she's feeling better!!

  4. Update on the Bailey dog...I was right!! I had her diagnosed correctly! Take that Dr. Joe with your fake degree. Oh, right, this is about Bailey...everything was benign and she has healed right up. Thanks for the well wishes everyone!