Sweaty gorillas

I have weird issues with sweat; I don't like to sweat and I don't like anyone else's sweat either.  When at the gym, I wipe everything down before AND after I use it.  I bought my own yoga mats so I wouldn't have to use theirs (this was after I saw some soppy girl drip all over one...gross).  I refuse to touch anything in the locker room after I saw a sweat laden naked chick sitting on the bench in front of the lockers.  I think I need a bubble suit just to be able to go to the gym.  And I am not a germaphobe - I work in a middle school for heaven's sake - that is a veritable petri dish of germs!

Today I was shakin' it in Zumba (in the wrong direction of course...but I was still somewhat participating) when the man in front of me began to sweat profusely.  And he was a gorilla of a man...big hulking arms that he couldn't lift above his shoulders, a slight bend to his upper back, and quite hairy.  At one point we were dancing backwards and he was essentially running while waving his sweaty gorilla arms.  I quit dancing and just started a game of dodge the big, hairy wetness.  Unfortunately in his simian excitement he flung sweat all over the floor.  As I slipped my way through the next couple of songs I was praying that I wouldn't fall in his puddle of body water.

I think I need counseling now.