Monday, August 1, 2011

Things I will never do (ever)

I have been coming across all of these lists about what you should accomplish before you turn 30, 40, and so forth.  Since I don't like to achieve too much I've set my goals pretty low with a list of things I will never do.  I figure this list will be pretty easy to accomplish.

1.  Camping.  I am not talking about people who vacation in a tripped out RV and call it "camping".  I am talking about sleeping in a tiny tent camping.  There is a reason humans developed houses with indoor plumbing and heating/air conditioning - so we could use it!  I am not about to spend a night amongst bugs, reptiles, or wild animals when there are hotels built for spending nights away from home.  Someone I know went tent camping at the beach.  This is a great idea if your idea of fun is sleeping in sticky, humid weather in a bed of sand.  Why would anyone volunteer to do that when there is a Marriott down the street?  With showers?  And toilets?  I just don't understand...

2.  Skydiving.  I have been on a lot of dates here lately and it seems like all men my age are going through some sort of mid-life crisis and all of them are looking for women who are adventurous.  What is considered adventurous you ask?  They all answer with skydiving.  Hurtling towards the Earth with nothing but a piece of fabric between you and death?  I don't think so.  These men may consider me boring; I call it self-preservation.  I don't mind if anyone else wants to go skydiving - have fun - and I will wait for you from the safety of the ground.

3.  Eat a bug.  I realize that bugs are considered food in other countries, but I do not plan on ever eating a bug (on purpose, anyway).  You can dip an ant in chocolate but it still ain't candy....

I think three things is a good beginning.  I'm going to go ahead and start working on doing these right now.  Hopefully I'll succeed!

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