Sunday, January 22, 2012

Copious Notes

I love Sears, I really do.  Not necessarily for clothes, but I love tires, tools, appliances and electronics.  I am even the proud owner of a Sears Platinum MasterCard.  Ooooooo....jealous?

Because my brain is akin to scrambled eggs (I joke that if I ever get dementia no one will be able to tell the difference) I screwed up my payment to Sears this month.  I underpaid by $28.  My fault. 

Their first phone call alerted me to the mistake and I went online to correct it.  I was going to pay my $28 and lose my current "deadbeat" status.  Only their site was being upgraded and I couldn't pay.  Why is it that whenever I owe someone money immediately they decide to revamp their website?  I'm talking to you Department of Education, Verizon, and Sears.

So I called the next morning to pay over the phone.  Only their phone system couldn't take payments at that time.  I asked the nice lady in India to stop with the automated "you're a loser" calls because I would pay up at the store.  Which I did; I hauled my butt out to Sears and paid the $28 plus late fees.  I then called India back and my account was current.  Whew!

Except their automated phone system could not be turned off.  I received 4 calls from Sears yesterday asking for their money.  I began to call Sears back after every call.  I figured that if they were going to harrass me over my now current account, I would harrass them right back. 

India:  "I'm sorry for the inconvenience.  I'll make a note to stop calling."

Me:  "Notes don't work.  I'm still getting calls.  The last guy said he left a note."

India:  "Uh, yes.  I see you have already called today....three times?  I'll make a note for the calls to stop."

Me:  "Thank you.  And I will call you after every phone call I receive.  Hopefully I'll get you every time.  Let's see how many calls it takes until it gets old."

India:  "I'm sorry for the inconvenience.  I'll make a note to stop calling."

Me:  "You do a great job of reading a script."

India:  "Thank you.  Can we please get your cell phone number so we can reach you there as well?"

Me:  "Are you insane?"

I recieved another call this morning.  So of course I called Sears back.  This time I got a guy in Idaho who did not have a set of postcards with scripted responses. 

Idaho:  "Um, I see where you called yesterday.  Multiple times.  There are copious notes here." 

I was just impressed that he used the word "copious" in a sentence.  He promised me the calls would stop and apologized for ruining my beautiful Sunday.  He also asked me to stop calling because it took their automated system about 24 hours to stop.  He said I should not receive any more calls after noon today. 

I guess this is yet another company where my file says "CRAZY!!!"

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